Tag: Houston

A Year Ago

~ Tiny ~ Leave a comment

I don’t know about you but lately I have been looking at all points of view in situations . Where are all the over thinkers at? Rise the roof—I mean raise your hand lol. (yes I’ll lol at my own jokes; millennial I guess) I recently had a conversation with my husband about life, so much has changed in the past year. I hadn’t seen how much change was happening because we were looking forward to getting out of the quick sand. Felt like it was dragging but we were making progress—almost there!!

Let me create a picture of what my mind looked like.

A year ago around this time my husband was having some nasal issues that lead him to see his doctor. Then my son turned 2! We took a mini trip to celebrate him at the beginning of April. We come back and his “sinus infection” was getting worse. Now there’s more blood than usual when he blows his nose. He then, not long after goes back to be told he needs to see a ENT. Gets scheduled a month later because that’s the earliest they can see him.

Oh dang, are those blood clots coming out?!

Two weeks pass and he goes to the ER because he can’t handle the pain. He requests a ct scan— was told there was a mass in his sinus cavity. But no worries it might be fungal due to the sinus infection getting bad. He is then told to go downtown to get a biopsy. I dropped my son off with my sisters and took off downtown to take him. The night before my son was sick so I needed to get him seen at the doctors. We split up the next day, I take our son to the doctor’s and he’ll get himself checked. Going back to the day of, he calls me to tell me the news. I have to go downtown to see what this mass is. Okay bet, let me drop off our kid to my sister’s and I’ll go pick you up so we can go together. We’re waiting in the ER for hours, until they finally take us into a room. Which let me tell you how crazy this experience was.

My husband happened to recognize one of the employees there—an old friend if you must. When he saw where they put us he was like “dang, this is where we keep all the busted equipment”. I said helllllllll naaaa, you lyin’! (In my head obviously).

Then here come some people; which I’m not sure if they aren’t doctors/nurses/techs. I’m not sure. I’m just concerned that we are in this room. Like I’m literally seeing you take this unsanitized tray to start laying all the equipment you’re about to use on my husband. “!?” Also, am I allowed to be in here? They sticked a long little camera up his nose and I can see EVERYTHING!. Excuse me sir why is it taking you more than 5 times to get a sample of the mass. You kept nipping him because you don’t know how to do this, or is it your first time? Because you’re just causing more pain; looks like that numbing spray is wearing off. That’s wild, but I guess that’s how people learn. Poor man, I just kept looking at his faces and feeling pain. Like dang they’re really removing skin from inside of you while you’re awake. Nipping it as I see the mass bleed with the little camera. Anyways, after all that overthinking I did it was finally over. (We wait to see what the results are, which should be a couple hours. Here’s some rough napkins put your head back). They have him in a bed in the hallway by the nurses station. The whole area was packed and busy! Half a day goes by to be told

“I don’t know who told you the results will be here in a couple hours because they need to send the sample out and it’ll be about 10-14 days”. Oh, okay. Thanks for that. So we leave and go home. Okay okay, we wait and get scheduled to come in to the the ENT. Cool, a week or so after we go to be told the results. We get there and the ENT does a little check and looks up his nose. He tells us he doesn’t have the results back to see what it is but that he needs to go in there to remove the tumor. My husband and I look at each other confused.

Tumor? I questioned. Yes, he replies.

Tumor doesn’t mean cancer though right? Yes, it’s cancer he said. (Looking at me with a dumb face).

“I need to go in and remove as much as I can so we can then do chemo and radiation. Any questions?”

Umm, I don’t know my guy, you just caught us off guard. You said tumor and cancer all non chalant like I’m a little speechless. I guess he noticed and walked out without saying anything. LMAOO what? Where are you going? I do have questions! What’s the plan, what’s the next step? You couldn’t say, I’ll be back and I’ll give you a time to process. I don’t know if he was under the impresssion that we knew it was cancer? Because from what you just told me was that you didn’t even have the results from the biopsy yet. So how can you be for sure? He could have left then came back to give us time to process and think of these questions. A week later we get sent to the neurologist because he will be overseeing the surgery because the tumor is right by the wall of the skull. Oh okay thanks for that info, that’s scary. So apparently the tumor is cancer and they have to go in aggressive because [we don’t want it to get bigger and go into the head]. Okay, yeah, sure. That makes sense. So what’s the plan? “So because we need to attack it soon, I’m busy these 2 weeks then I will be on vacation for another 2 weeks so in about 4-6 weeks we’ll do the surgery. Okay, any questions?” Here I am again looking real confused because we need to be aggressive and attack it asap but let me add that I’m going on vacation. Why not just say “the soonest I can do is x weeks from now” I would understand that surgeries are scheduled so yeah there’s a wait. I don’t need to know you’ll be enjoying life while we worry about this tumor getting bigger. I don’t know but that didn’t really sit well with me. I want a second opinion because I just didn’t like how everything played out at this hospital.

I ended up telling one of my clients about what we were dealing with and she suggested getting a second opinions at where she works; they specialize in cancer. So yeah, no brainer. We called to set up an appointment and within a week we had 4 days of appointments with a whole team who would oversee the treatment. At this point, I had listed everything in my notes. Now I’m ready with all the questions. Man, let me tell you how much I appreciate that whole team. Everything I wanted to ask was answered while they were explaining what it is, where it is, how big it is, the treatment, the process, the timeline, the details to it all. It even came with booklets, pages of support groups, plan, everything. I was left at ease because what felt so heavy and strong has now become lighter and peaceful. Yes, cancer is scary but it doesn’t have to be right? You can’t worry about something that can be treated and taken away without much trauma when they’re giving you a positive outcome and are certain you’ll be okay? Spoken from someone who didn’t go through it but saw it happen. So plan was surgery is the last resort, lets start with chemo, then we’ll give you a rest then you’ll do chemo and radiation. By May we were starting everything. We decided to stick with option 2. We liked it, was definitely a better experience. I guess they have more empathy for people than the first one. Oh yeah by July we had to be out of the house we were renting at; decided that living with his parents would be a good idea. His mom and sister can both help me with my son as well as their child/brother. Husband had to take a leave of absence at work so it was best to not let everything pile up on me— since I will also be missing work to be there with him at all his appointments. This is good, it’s for the best. Don’t stress. We pick what we choose to bother us, I shouldn’t let the lack of privacy get in the way. It’s what’s best, don’t stress. Beginning of July my son started his therapy classes, and my husband started his second round. Chemo/radiation. Okay okay, things are steady. There’s a new schedule, we’re all adjusting. Going back to church because God is good right? Thank you Lord for being with us during this storm, holding our hands and giving us the peace we need.

Anyways, going back to points of views. As all that is happening, I start thinking about my kid more. Not that I ever stop thinking about him, but really taking myself back. He needs more attention. His therapies won’t work if the work isn’t being done at home. I’m the parent, I can’t rely on someone to do the work for me. I have to divide my time equally betweeen my son and my husband. I have to be the supportive wife I can be to my man and be the mom my son needs. Who cares if you’re tired? Your child needs you. In order to see improvement in your child’s development you have to give it your all. Not for you, but for them. How else can they succeed in life if you’re not guiding them? Shut up, because I make myself cry lol. Man, I love my little dude. We’re going to make it and be optimistic that this will be a great year for him. He will thrive, in Jesus name. I really am thankful for the therapists he has. Because my son is now doing things he didn’t do before and is overcoming obstacles. I’m grateful for them. So then I decide to take another step back. Could he be doing more if everyone around him was helping us be consistent? Maybe? That’s a little touchy. One thing I have mentioned to our circle is; “I feel like (everyone) forgets that he’s neurodivergent”. There’s different levels of autism and my son is 1 borderline 2. Which is requiring substantial support. Which means he doesn’t process things like others his age. Our kids may be the same age but they’re not the same, They may be diagnosed with the same level but they’re not the same. We don’t know what parents are going through so let’s reember to be kind and not be judgmental. My kid means a lot to me so I want to be able to do regular activities and explore life without being stared at. Not that it even bothers my kid because he has no idea you’re even looking at him. I just want it to be more accepted. Kids are kids, they only know what they are taught. So how about we teach our kids to be nice no matter how different they are from you. You know that quote; “my child saved my life” — that has meaning to me. So then I start thinking; do what you can to save his! He deserves it all, he deserves to live in a world that can understand him, even if he can’t quit understand the world.

I take another step back to see that we’re in July. We have birthdays and an anniversary. Celebrated my husband seeing another year. Celebrated 5 years of marriage. Oh yeah, my studio turned 4 years in June. Now it’s September, oh hey look it’s my birthday. Oh crap we’re in October, the holiday seasons is here. WOW it’s December, my husband is cleared and we’re in remission. Thank you LORD! We made it here. I knew it. It was all going to be okay. No more cancer! Next thing I do is blink and it’s a new year. Wow we made it to 2025 in good spirits. How did we make it here? What was going on in the world during all of this? Because I feel like my mind was too busy worrying about my own. It may sound weird but even though it was a tough year, it was a year of growth. I’m grateful we went through and got out of a situation that was scary. It has made me value my family more to just be thankful to come into the new year with a different set of eyes.

You know, as I’m writing this I surprise myself on how well I can remember things as they’re happening to me. But I don’t pick up on my surroundings until something is pointed out or brought up. Which I will write on my next one— viewing my husband’s pov.

Pri – SNOW – ities

~ Tiny ~ 4 Comments

Yesterday was a big day for us Houstonians (01/21/2025). We got snow!!!! I don’t know about ya’ll but my little family and I enjoyed ourselves. This year I decided to make a lot of big changes. That included me taking a look into what I have been making a priority in my life. I started my business back in 2020; opened up my nail studio during the pandemic. Once they allowed non essential workers to resume work I was on my grind. For a good 2 in a half years I was all about work. I was recently married in 2019 but my husband was very understanding that work doesn’t stay home. It comes with me after hours. Booking, replying to clients, making content, posting it and doing the actual job. I loved it, I made work my priority. I got pregnant in 2021 and had my son April 2022. Things had to change, my priorities shifted. I cut back my days to Thursday through Saturday. My husband started working over nights Sunday through Wednesday so I stayed home with our baby those days. It was a hard time. I built my clientele to were I was booked everyday. I had to cut back meaning I couldn’t take EVERYONE, making me loose a good chunk of clients. But I’m grateful because I still had my loyal clients. As my son got “older” I started to increase my days. I’d work half days Sunday-Wednesday and be back home before my husband had to go to work. That was such a hard time. My husband wasn’t getting much sleep so sometimes he’d go to his parents to nap before work. I decided it was time to change my schedule again. I was off Sunday-Tuesday would have my sister in law take care of my son Wednesdays and I’ll work the rest of the week while he would be with his dad. It was a crazy schedule because it wasn’t too consistent for some clients. My off days kept switching. I understand people want a consistent person, I just couldn’t. To make this a bit shorter, I revolved my schedule around my son and my clients. I made no time for my husband and family time. I had many people tell me; “Astrid you work so much, Astrid when are you taking a vacation, Astrid are you taking care of yourself?” After I had my son I didn’t realize I let myself go. I became someone I couldn’t recognize. I was just a mom and a nail tech, barely a wife if I’m being honest.

Once my son turned 18 months he got diagnosed with autism and told us we should get him evaluated by a neurologist. So we did. We were told he is level 1 creeping into 2. I saw the signs before but never thought of anything, I would ask his pediatrician but she said the things I mentioned were “normal”. So I didn’t bother to really look into it. Until his 18 months when I kept checking mostly all (No’s) on his development. I felt like a shitty parent because I started thinking, did I not prioritize my son, did I not give him enough attention to help him with all these milestones? So here comes the depression in disguise. During this time we were in holiday season. Meaning I was working Monday through Saturday. I was making some time to go look for an ABA therapy place. I’ll go more into detail in another post about all of this but the point is we didn’t find a place. Time came and went and my son is 2 with no help. A little bit after that we find out my husband has cancer. (Which again, I’ll go into detail about that in another post). My whole life flipped. But I still kept working. Being there for my husband kind of put my son in second place. We stared therapies with SST, OT, Nutrition and Speech. My priorities kept changing. Husband, son, work all in that order. I was busy and kind of leaving some of that work to my mother in law and my sister in law while I was at work. Back in December my husband was told he was cancer free, we’re in remission. Praise the lord. My focus became my son.

I told myself that things needed to change this coming year. I love my job, I love my clients but I need to focus on my family. On myself. If you noticed I never mentioned I was giving myself any “me” time during any of this. None since 2020. We’re now in 2025. I never complained because I never noticed it. I felt guilty to do anything outside of family and work. I stopped doing my nails because I don’t want to stay late when I can be spending it with my boys. Mind you, I do my own yet I wasn’t making the time. The only other thing I was doing was my lashes but stopped when my husband was going through his treatments and my son had classes so anything that had to do with “self care” wasn’t a priority to me. I was beyond grateful for the clients I had during the time who were super understanding. They were taking care of me bringing me food, snacks, coffee, etc because for such a long time I wasn’t even eating right. Coffee and redbull were my besties. I thank my clients who got me a facial, one of the only things I did for myself because I had too lol. I was constantly being reminded to book it and I appreciated it. I was so relaxed that for a few minutes to myself made me forget a bit of how stressed I was. I don’t think I ever realized how I was maneuvering life until my friends started telling me their point of view on my life. I’m grateful for that, because I didn’t shed tears with many but the ones I did I realized a lot.

I think I was being real hard on myself. I think there’s a time and place for things and during this hard year I didn’t think putting myself first in any way was okay. See it how you want to see it but I was okay with how I handled it. I made the time for my priorities. This year though, things will change. I knew, but didn’t realize the luxury I have to create my own schedule. Which is funny because all I did talk about was how I was constantly changing it when things came up. But when I mean luxury I mean yes work, but make time to fit other things in. I will make time for myself, I will make time for my friends. You make time for the things that are important to you because if you wanted to do anything you would. I’ve had this website up for 2 years and I’m now just publishing. I’m thankful for my beautiful friend Ana for helping me and pushing me; we all need that one friend. I decided to give myself a raise this year as well. I’m thankful for all my clients still sticking it through and understanding. This year I’m giving half my Sundays to my friends and to God because without Him I don’t think I would have made it. Giving my son all Wednesday. I won’t be working too late so that I’m able to come home at a reasonable time to still have family time every day I work. And Thursdays will be all day family time. Chillin’ with my boys.

Wondering why I titled it pri – snow – ities? Think no more lol. Yesterday was Tuesday meaning I had a full day at work, I didn’t want to reschedule my clients because they’re the type to still come no matter the weather. And I’m the type to not believe what the weather people say because they’re not always right. I woke up early and saw how white it was outside, it was actually snowing. Snow was falling down on us. How amazing for us Houston folks. I automatically thought of my big goh (my husky Luz) who’s actually currently staying at my parents. I texted my family to see how my girls (my dogs) were and they told me how much Luz was running around. Man, I couldn’t miss that. Plus it would be my son’s first snow day! Didn’t think again and messaged all my clients to reschedule and they didn’t seem to mind. Why was I overthinking the whole situation. It’s okay if things don’t go as scheduled, you put those who need to be first, first. I’m thankful with my new car I got last year, never did I think I would be using SNOW mode here in Houston. Packed our stuff and headed to see my girls. My son, after having his little breakfast was having the best time of his life outside. Was I really about to give this up? Go to work and not see his beautiful face enjoying the weather and my girls running around excited to have me there with them? Luxury, I have the luxury to see these moments and be there. Enjoying them. Not only with them but I got to hang out with my sisters and parents. Who were having a good time too, I don’t think we’ve ever seen all of us so excited and happy all at once. I was thankful to experience this, yesterday was definitely a Pri-SNOW-ity, I’m glad I didn’t miss.

Shout out to my husband for having the idea to come bring my son here to a jumping place while I write this whole post. Letting me do this while I see my little one enjoy himself. After we took our nap yesterday I woke up with the title idea. He’s been pushing me all night but I was definitely lazy with the cold lol. I appreciate him being supportive with me adding blogging to my schedule. And shout out to the place for having a sale today letting us be here for 2 hours, my son definitely enjoys his jumping time. That’s his priority lol. Thanks babe, here’s to us making changes this year!

What are your priorities and will you make any changes?